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America’s tremendous number of firearms makes it much harder to reform policing.
I started reporting this article with a simple question: What would it look like to build a better police department from the ground up?
Police in the US, after all, are more likely to shoot and kill someone than their peers around the developed world, and disproportionately the victims are Black Americans. Meanwhile, serious crimes are often unsolved — with almost half of murders in 2020 going uncleared.
So I asked a dozen experts, focused on criminal justice, what could be done about this to build better police departments. They gave me a lot of different answers, with a consensus on more accountability, a greater focus on crime prevention and more serious offenses over minor ones, and support for non- police efforts to address root causes of crime, among other ideas.
But they consistently gave the same caveat: America’s gun problem. The US has the most civilian-owned firearms in the world, with more than one gun in circulation for every person. A bevy of research has linked greater gun ownership to more deadly violence in the US — and, America, relatedly, has the highest murder rate out of the world’s developed countries.
For police, the huge number of guns in America also means that every single call is treated as if someone involved could be armed — and that an otherwise nonviolent wellness check, mental health call, or traffic stop could turn into a deadly encounter. US law generally allows police to use force because they merely perceive a threat, and the many firearms in civilian hands give police officers a reason to believe they’re in danger.
“It’s Schrödinger’s gun: It’s always there, but it’s not there until you see it,” Michael Sierra-Arévalo, a sociologist at the University of Texas Austin, told me. “That cost is borne by two parties: It’s borne by the public, when police make mistakes, and it’s borne by police themselves, when they’re attacked by firearms.”
Of course, other factors play a role in how US police behave. Racism, at the individual and systemic level, is a real force throughout much of American society. Racial disparities in all aspects of American life, from health to the economy, can translate to higher crime rates in minority communities, where police are subsequently deployed in greater force. And since the 1970s and ’80s, US policymaking has trended toward a “tough on crime” approach that encourages police to act very aggressively.
But guns act as a ratchet in policing. Firearms make every call to the police more risky, but also make officers and the public perceive every situation as inherently more risky. This helps explain not just how cops themselves behave but why police are involved in so many different calls to begin with, from murders to wellness checks. Armed officials ended up in charge of so many areas of society in part because the US has more guns and sees more deadly violence than its peers.
This complicates any effort to reduce the role of the police in American society. One of the more popular proposals today is to get the police out of mental health crises, replacing the cops called about people in crisis with special teams that take a softer, more public health–minded approach.
But the vast number of firearms makes it more likely these calls could escalate, endangering a member of the response team and potentially requiring armed backup. Eugene, Oregon’s vaunted CAHOOTS program, for example, has reportedly diverted 5 to 8 percent of dispatch calls away from the police by deploying unarmed, health-oriented staff to crisis situations. But as the Eugene Police Department explains, sometimes officers have to be deployed along with CAHOOTS, or even beforehand, to secure a possibly dangerous scene.
Reducing the footprint of police isn’t impossible. But the abundance of guns places limits on how far these reforms can go. To put it another way, there’s a choice that America, as a whole, and its leaders have to make: Do something about all of the guns in circulation, or limit the scope of police reform.
The US has more civilian-owned firearms than any country on Earth. There are about 120 guns for every 100 people, according to 2018 data from the Small Arms Survey. Yemen, in second place, has about 53 guns per 100 people. Canada has about 35 per 100, England and Wales — where police are often unarmed — have nearly five per 100, and Japan has fewer than one per 100.
A long line of research has connected more guns to more gun violence, including police shootings. The issue is not that America has more crime or violence than other developed countries, but that guns make it much easier for an event to escalate from a merely criminal offense to a deadly encounter. For police, this reality makes them more guarded, and, potentially, more likely to shoot unnecessarily.
“Police officers are being asked to make these often very subtle decisions in situations in which they legitimately feel their life is really threatened,” Emily Owens, a University of California Irvine economist focused on crime and policing, told me. “The prevalence of firearms in the United States doesn’t help that situation, certainly.”
To be sure, other factors besides guns, from personal views to systemic issues, contribute to those subtle decisions officers make as well. There are reforms that could be tried even within the context of Americans’ massive stockpile of firearms. But guns act as a constant force in the background, drawing boundaries around how far reforms can go and how well they can work.
As one example, the abundance of guns complicates a key concept in many police reform proposals: a higher bar for getting officers involved at all.
American law enforcement respond to a lot of calls that don’t involve violence or even conflict between people. One recent study in Police Quarterly found the top three calls across nine departments were about traffic, public disturbances (like noise violations, graffiti, fireworks, and public urination), or suspicious people and activities; just 7.2 percent were about violence or involved some kind of conflict between different people. The hope is that police, as armed and possibly violent state actors who can escalate a situation themselves, could be removed from the many lower-level calls.
“If police are going to be the armed emergency first responder, what do you want these people with guns to do?” Tracey Meares, the founding director of the Justice Collaboratory at Yale Law School, said. “There are people whose dogs poop in my front yard, and there’s a law against that. Do I think it’s a good idea to call a person with a gun to deal with that? No, I don’t. Just like I don’t think it’s a good idea for a person with a gun to deal with a noise complaint. I can come up with a whole bunch of other examples.”
But the number of guns among the civilian population raises the chances any given call in America will turn into violence, either by a police officer or by a civilian on the scene. In the UK or Japan, anyone responding to a mental health call — police or otherwise — can safely assume a gun won’t be present; in the US, that’s far from a sure bet.
The potential risk of a hypothetical gun is further complicated by the unpredictable nature of policing. Temple University criminologist Jerry Ratcliffe analyzed 911 calls in Philadelphia for a study in Crime Science. He found that calls for one thing can often turn into an entirely different matter — those about crime often turn out to be mental health cases or “sick assists” (such as helping a person who’s physically ill), and wellness checks sometimes turn out to be violent crimes or missing persons situations.
Even if someone thinks that they might be going into a relatively safe call, it could turn out that’s not the case. Add in the risk presented by America’s guns, and you may have a very volatile, potentially dangerous situation. “You don’t know what you’re getting,” Ratcliffe told me. “You don’t know for sure it’s a nonviolent call when you turn up.”
Most police calls are resolved safely without any serious incident. As New York City Police Department analyst John Hall noted, “just one in every 6,959 [traffic] stops results in an assault on an officer … an officer sustaining serious injury or death from a traffic stop is even rarer.” Still, each cop can respond to multiple calls while on duty — and each call carries a roll of the dice that ends in a dangerous encounter. As Hall put it, “Over the course of a career, these stops add up.”
The officers responding to these calls are also planning for the worst, not the ideal. If there’s a decent chance that someone will encounter a gun at a call — especially if something has already happened to a colleague — officers will tend to be more guarded.
This doesn’t excuse criminal acts or horrifying, avoidable mistakes by police officers. Other factors can drive up the risk of violence at any given call, from racial profiling to insufficient housing to poor mental health systems.
But guns are the one uniquely American factor that can escalate a police call.
Ideally, policing in the US would look very different. Several experts pointed to the principles laid out by Sir Robert Peel, who established the London Metropolitan Police Force in 1829, emphasizing crime prevention, rather than reaction to crime, and efforts to build public support. They called for evidence-based police training, stronger accountability measures, more use of research-backed crime prevention strategies, and greater focus on violence and interpersonal conflicts, leaving lower-level offenses and incidents to unarmed officials when possible.
Some activists have gone further, with calls to “defund the police” and redirect savings to other programs that address root causes of crime, such as poverty, mental health care, and housing.
But guns are also a root cause of violence, and not addressing it makes police reform approaches less likely to succeed as intended. What happens, for instance, when staff members of an unarmed team tasked with responding to nonviolent calls get shot? Do they ask for police escorts or backup — diminishing the purpose of the reform? Do they ask to be armed — also defeating the purpose of the reform?
University of Missouri St. Louis criminologist Richard Rosenfeld said that the latter has happened before: Probation and parole officers frequently started out unarmed but over time have armed themselves because, in their view, “they were endangered by their armed clients.”
That doesn’t mean other reforms aren’t worth trying, experts said. But they are likely to be limited in scope and reach by the reality of guns in America.
In some cases, police reform may even conflict with the task of addressing root causes — making it less likely the reform can succeed on all fronts. For example, a lot of attention has gone to police’s involvement in routine traffic stops, with Philadelphia recently banning officers from stopping drivers for low-level offenses.
But it turns out traffic stops are also a big source of the guns police take off the streets. Hall’s analysis for the Manhattan Institute found 42.3 percent of the NYPD’s gun arrests in 2020 were during vehicle stops. Many of these calls can start over a broken taillight or reckless driving, only for the officer to discover an illegal firearm. And, unfortunately, it’s really hard for officers to know which stops will go in this direction; you can’t tell who’s carrying a gun simply by looking at the vehicle or driver.
It also may not be that police’s footprint in US society — and all the costs that brings — are taking up resources from better solutions, but that police are necessary because US society has failed to address root causes of crime and violence first. As University of Pennsylvania criminologist Aaron Chalfin told me, “The police are the residual claimants on all the stuff that no one else is willing or able to deal with. We put them in that position.”
In the case of guns, police are frequently needed because a country awash with firearms requires some sort of armed presence to keep people safe. Only once that abundance of guns is reduced can the police safely retreat.
Stricter gun laws could help. A 2016 review of 130 studies in 10 countries, published in Epidemiologic Reviews, found legal restrictions on owning and purchasing guns tended to be followed by a drop in gun violence — a strong indicator that reducing access to guns can save lives. In the US, there’s particular evidence for requiring a license to purchase and own a firearm. But for political and cultural reasons, America has resisted new, serious national measures for decades, letting firearm purchases continue with few if any checks.
This has contributed to the dynamic of police acting as American society’s backup solution, which is what has saddled officers with so much responsibility to begin with. It’s not that cops wanted more duties. In my years of reporting on this issue, many officers have told me the opposite: that they were called to fill in — by lawmakers and the public — when society had already failed.
To describe these extra duties, police officers “use different terms — nonsense, bullshit, whatever they want to call it,” Sierra-Arévalo, the sociologist, said. “That’s a consistent thing: They don’t think they should be going to a lot of these things.”
America’s tremendous number of guns is at the center of all of this, exacerbating many of the country’s problems by adding a higher risk that any situation can escalate into deadly violence. Once this problem is seen, it’s hard to unsee; it makes it clear why police are responding to so much of the “nonsense” and “bullshit” in the first place.
Doing something about the guns may be the only hope of truly altering that reality — and allowing more police reform.
Democrats passed a $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill, but their larger climate and social spending bill is still in doubt.
The House passed a $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill Friday, but did not vote on a sweeping climate and social spending measure as originally planned.
The result was a major step forward for President Joe Biden’s agenda, but a blow to progressives who’ve long pushed for the two bills to be tied together. Progressives were able to extract a commitment from House moderates to vote for the spending measure by November 15, although that pledge came with an important caveat.
The infrastructure bill passed the House 228-206, with 13 Republicans voting in favor. The legislation was a compromise between a bipartisan group of lawmakers and includes major investments in roads, bridges, water quality, and broadband internet. It’s known as BIF — the bipartisan infrastructure framework — because members of both parties have backed it. Because it has already passed the Senate, it now heads to President Joe Biden’s desk to become law.
The $1.75 trillion social spending bill, dubbed the Build Back Better Act (BBB), did not receive a vote, however, and won’t be heading to the Senate. It contains historic funding for early childhood care and education and for fighting climate change, as well as key health care reforms.
The House action followed a chaotic day of back-and-forth over the two votes. Progressives have consistently demanded that votes for the two bills — the bipartisan infrastructure bill and the social spending package — be linked. They feared that moderates, who backed BIF, would abandon the spending bill if the infrastructure bill passed first.
To satisfy this demand, Democratic leaders scheduled a vote on both for Friday. This week, however, a group of moderate Democrats including Reps. Kurt Schrader, Stephanie Murphy and Jared Golden, urged a delay for the social spending bill until it received a score from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) laying out how much it would add to the national debt.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided to keep the infrastructure vote on the books, and delay the vote on the Build Back Better Act until lawmakers could get more information.
This strategy immediately prompted uproar from progressives, making it appear that the infrastructure vote would fail. Because Democrats have such narrow margins in the House, they can’t afford to lose more than three members on any vote. That gives any group of moderates or progressives the power to hold up legislation.
Biden intervened Friday night, and with Pelosi, offered progressives and moderates a deal. In exchange for progressive votes for the infrastructure package, moderates would pledge to vote for the spending bill, so long as the Congressional Budget Office — which will lay out how much the measure adds to spending and the deficit — finds the measure’s fiscal impact is as projected.
In the end, all but six members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus were willing to take the deal, enough for the infrastructure bill to pass the House with some Republican votes.
The fate of the social spending bill, however, is now uncertain. Moderates are holding out for a score from the Congressional Budget Office before they move forward. And the CBO could find the spending bill would have more than the expected budget deficit impact. In that case, moderates did not say they would commit to voting for the bill, though most of the holdouts did promise to try “to resolve any discrepancies in order to pass the Build Back Better legislation.” Some could conceivably refuse to vote for it at all. In the best- case scenario, a vote on the bill isn’t expected to take place until later this month and then, should it pass, it must still get through the Senate as well.
Of concern to progressives is whether the spending package will stay alive. Without a concurrent vote on the social spending measure, progressives don’t have much leverage to ensure that it won’t be abandoned entirely.
Previously, Congressional Progressive Caucus leader Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) said that progressives trusted Biden to deliver the support of moderate Sens. Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema for the bill. Both senators have demanded major cuts and reworking to the spending package over the past few weeks, and Manchin, in particular, has expressed concern about the cost.
Now, they’ll get a chance to see if moderates in both the House and the Senate actually come through for the legislation, if they’ll continue to whittle it down, or if they will come to oppose it altogether.
Both bills are quite large. The infrastructure bill will spend $1.2 trillion on roads, water quality, bridges, and broadband, while the social spending and climate bill would put $1.75 trillion toward early childhood education and clean energy as well as key health care reforms. Together, they’d represent nearly $3 trillion in spending spread over several years that would come less than a year after Congress authorized $1.9 trillion in a third coronavirus relief bill.
Biden has emphasized that the entirety of the $1.75 trillion bill would be paid for with revenue raisers including a new corporate minimum tax, a tax on stock buybacks, and an additional tax on top income earners. An estimate from the Joint Committee on Taxation suggested the measure would bring in about $1.5 trillion in revenue over a decade. That calculation did not include newly added provisions like policies to cut prescription drug costs and to ramp up IRS tax enforcement that are expected to bring in further revenue. Progressives have noted, too, that the bipartisan infrastructure bill is not fully paid for and would add an estimated $256 billion to the debt, according to the Congressional Budget Office.
Despite this, the scale of the legislation still has moderate lawmakers in both the House and Senate worried, and they’re not fully convinced by the estimates they’ve seen. A Wharton analysis, for instance, found that Biden’s proposed framework could add as much as $2.5 trillion to the deficit if its provisions were made permanent.
Their demands for a CBO score — which would lay out the measure’s effects on spending, revenue, and the deficit — stem from worries that these programs will increase the deficit further, and that the revenue raisers included in the legislation won’t be sufficient to cover these costs.
Moderates have said they’d feel more comfortable moving forward if they knew for certain that the bill would have limited impact on the national debt.
“We have, because of Covid, already spent about $6 trillion roughly, and we need to approach this in a fiscally responsible manner, and the only way to do that is to know how much this package costs,” Murphy previously said.
It could take as much as two weeks for the House to get a CBO score on the bill, something the Senate is also waiting on for the budget reconciliation process. The deal struck between progressives and moderates projected CBO data would come by November 15.
Any delays in getting that score could pose a problem for getting the Build Back Better Act passed before the year is over — or even before next spring, when lawmakers will begin to turn their attention to the 2022 midterm elections.
Congress will be on recess for two weeks in November and out again in the second half of December. Should the CBO score come in two weeks, lawmakers would receive it right before leaving Washington for the Thanksgiving recess. After returning from that break, lawmakers would have roughly 10 legislative days left before their winter recess to get the bill through the House and Senate.
Finishing the spending bill is expected to be particularly difficult, given that Democrats haven’t yet agreed on what will be in it. Moderate senators are still pushing back on the size and some provisions in the spending legislation, and have winnowed it down considerably in recent weeks. Progressives in both chambers are working to put provisions that have been stripped out back in, and, as was seen Friday, moderates continue to voice concerns about overall cost.
Even once the social spending bill passes the House, it will still face a long journey through the Senate. The bill is being advanced through the budget reconciliation process, which allows bills to pass the Senate with a simple majority. Democrats have a one-vote majority, but reconciliation also mandates a bill’s provisions affect the budget.
The Senate parliamentarian, who rules on what is and isn’t allowed in a reconciliation bill, will need to make a decision on what can and can’t be included in the bill after Democrats finish their internal negotiations and the CBO score is released. After that, again, as part of the reconciliation process, the bill will also have to go through a step known as “vote-a-rama” in which senators can offer amendments to the legislation and potentially alter it even more.
Once passed in the Senate, it will head back to the House, where lawmakers will need to approve the Senate’s changes.
It’s also important to remember that the spending bill isn’t the only thing lawmakers need to address. On December 3, if Congress doesn’t take action, the government will default on its debts, triggering a potential global economic crisis. If lawmakers don’t pass more funding for the federal government, it could shut down.
And if the House fails to advance the social spending bill, Biden’s full agenda — and all the benefits it hopes to bring — won’t come to fruition, either.
There’s a human cost to factory- processed chicken.
Starting in the 1960s, US consumers began a love affair with chicken. America’s proteins of choice once were beef and pork, until the poultry industry found a way to produce a lot of chicken, making it cheap and plentiful. Human workers paid the cost of that productivity as, over the past few decades, poultry processing line speeds have increased to meet this demand. But that’s happened in tandem with the decline of unions and deregulation of the industry. The result is a high rate of workplace injuries and repetitive motion disorders, with gaps in workplace safety oversight.
For this video, we contacted Tyson Foods Inc. and the National Chicken Council for comment. The National Chicken Council (NCC), the poultry industry lobby that has repeatedly requested line speed increases, wrote that faster line speeds do not affect the pace of work because plants will add additional staff and lines to accommodate the increase in speeds. Through our reporting and our sources, we weren’t able to substantiate this claim, and the NCC did not respond when we asked for an example of when this has happened or for any other evidence that this is the industry standard.
The NCC also mentioned that other countries also run poultry line speeds as fast as, if not faster than, the US. It’s difficult to do an apples-to-apples comparison with other countries because of the regulatory framework and union issues we cover in the video. Claire Kelloway, reporter and researcher for OpenMarkets, noted that in Europe, for example, factories are typically smaller than US plants, and there are higher rates of unionization and more industry safety regulation. The regulating agencies enforce longer breaks and switching up job roles to avoid repetition, for example. Even so, working conditions in poultry plants are still criticized there.
While the NCC cites a decline in workplace injuries, experts and advocates say this data is unreliable. It relies on workers reporting injuries to the government agency that regulates workplace safety, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA). There are a number of reasons a poultry worker might not report an injury or illness, including language barriers or fears over their citizenship status. We mention that worker- and advocate-led surveys show high levels of injury and include one example, but there are many more.
Tyson Foods Inc. disputes, without evidence, the petition that Magaly Licolli presented on behalf of the workers at the Berry Street poultry plant in Springdale, Arkansas. The company said it was misrepresented to the workers who signed it and that there were double signatures. We interviewed a worker who helped distribute the petition who said otherwise. Tyson Foods also noted that they offered raises to poultry workers in 2021 amid a labor shortage.
We also contacted OSHA for comment. In their response, they noted that they issue citations or fines to any workplace found by federal inspectors to have violated their safety standards, but confirmed that it is under the jurisdiction of the USDA to determine line speeds. They also said that they do not track data on the use of the chemicals we mention in the video: chlorine, ammonia, and peracetic acid.
While reporting this episode, I read Christopher Leonard’s The Meat Racket, which I would recommend if you are interested in deep-dive reporting into the history of Tyson Foods and the poultry industry.
I also reread Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. More on the impact of The Jungle here.
A congressional report recently revealed that the death toll from Covid-19 outbreaks in meat-processing plants was three times higher than previously thought:
Read this for more coverage of the failed OSHA ergonomics rule.
Deborah Berkowitz, the former OSHA chief of staff and director of the Worker Safety and Health Program of the National Employment Law Project, was a crucial source for this story. Here is her recent congressional testimony on workplace safety for the meat-processing industry.
There is some reporting on whether more automation could help reduce workplace injuries. In general, Europe has higher levels of automation in meat-processing plants than in the US.
This story is about the history of anti-union politics, specifically in Arkansas as it relates to the poultry industry.
You can find this video and all of Vox’s videos on YouTube.
Bengaluru Saturday races cancelled - The Stewards of the Bangalore Turf Club decided to cancel the races to be held on Saturday (Nov. 6) due to persistent overnight rains and inclement w
Chennai Sunday races cancelled - The Stewards of the Madras Race Club cancelled the first day races scheduled to be held on Sunday (Nov. 7) due to inclement weather rendering the und
ICC T20 World Cup | Pollard takes West Indies to fighting 157/7 against Australia - West Indies were propelled by skipper Kieron Pollard, who smashed 44 runs off 31 balls
ICC T20 World Cup | Pakistan looks to continue invincible run against Scotland - Pakistan might look to rest a few players and give others opportunities in the inconsequential match.
ICC T20 World Cup | New Zealand, Afghanistan clash in match that will decide India’s semifinal chances - If the Kiwis secure a win, India’s final league game on Monday against Namibia will be rendered inconsequential.
U.P. polls | Adityanath warns people against parties which equate Sardar Patel with Jinnah - “We have to understand the mindset of the elements, who are trying to equate Sardar Patel with Jinnah.”
Navjot Sidhu obstructing functioning of govt, spreading misinformation: Punjab Advocate General Deol - AG Deol said Navjot Singh Sidhu’s “repeated utterances seek to derail the earnest efforts of the state government to ensure justice in the drugs matter and the sacrilege cases”
Dilip Ghosh asks Tathagata Roy to leave BJP if he was upset with its style of functioning - “If you are so upset and ashamed of all that is happening within the party, why don’t you just leave?”
BJP national executive to meet on Sunday - It will discuss plans for the upcoming Assembly polls
ICF plans to roll out third Vande Bharat in March - Chairman Railway Board inspects progress of work, pats team
Russian diplomat found dead outside Berlin embassy - Reports of last month’s death have only just emerged and suggest the man fell from an upper floor.
Brexit: ‘Serious consequences’ if Article 16 triggered, warns EU - EC Vice-President Maros Sefcovic says the move would lead to instability in Northern Ireland.
Camels escape circus and wander Madrid streets - Eight camels and a llama were found, with managers blaming their escape on animal rights activists.
Paris attacks trial: Humdrum lives that turned to mass murder - For four days the Paris attacks heard this week of the ordinary backgrounds of the 14 defendants.
Alexandre Benalla: Jail term for ex-Macron aide who beat up protesters - Alexandre Benalla was sacked after video of the assault at a May Day protest in 2018 emerged.
Tagalong robots follow you to learn where you go - Burro makes carts that help growers of trees and vineyards with harvests. - link
These parents built a school app. Then the city called the cops - Official app was a disaster, so knowledgeable parents built an open source alternative. - link
It’s time to delete carbon from the atmosphere. But how? - It’s not enough to drastically slash emissions—we need more carbon capture. - link
Man donated his body to science; company sold $500 tickets to his dissection - The widow learned of the dissection from a news reporter. - link
Razer Pro Click Mini review: A wireless mouse for power users - Productivity-focused mouse offers advanced features in a portable size. - link
Why they were walking around masturbating, I’ll never know.
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The Russian tells him “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.”
“Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown.”
“And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to be light brown color.”
The prince says “I rather like the Turkish bulls. Fine specimens indeed.”
“Excellent choice, your majesty. But Turkish bull is special. They is bred for royalty, like you. But if you have royal blood, you must be bonding with bull calf when young, before they change color or they will reject you,” the Russian explains.
“Well,” the prince says, “I’m looking for a strong, adult bull. I’m not particularly interested in buying a calf. I rather like this big, beige bull over here.”
The prince attempts to pet the large Turkish bull. It sniffs his hand, shakes its head in disgust, turns around and kicks the prince with its hind legs.
The prince goes flying across the room and lands in a pile of hay.
“Where did you get such a horrible beast?! Why did it kick me!?” He sputters.
“I told you. He from Turkey,” the Russian explains, “Is tan bull, can’t stand a noble.”
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“Is it true what they say about you?” “Yes honey, absolutely. I can suck you off, and sing the Star-Spangled Banner at the same time. Wanna give it a go?” “That sounds amazing. I’ve got to experience it for myself.”
They go up to her place. They move to the bedroom immediately and he pays her up front.
Before they start, she insists that they should be in total darkness. “I don’t want to give my technique away, it’s a secret.” He accepts, so she closes the blinds before laying him down on the bed. She takes his pants off and starts blowing him.
And sure enough, a few moments later, he hears her voice singing, quite clearly : “Ooooh saaaay, can… youuuu… seeeee…”
The guy is flabbergasted. The blowjob feels amazing and now he really wants to know how she’s doing it. He tries to think of what the trick could be… It can’t be someone else, the sound is clearly coming from her. He tries to look around discreetly by turning his head a bit, as there’s a thin sliver of light coming through the window, but he can’t manage to get an angle where he can see her. All he can see is the bedside table. There’s his wallet, his phone, and… What’s that? … A glass eye?
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Everyone congratulates you,
But no one asks how many times you got fucked.
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The men are caught pants down and put in front of the local Sharia court. The judge finds them guilty and punishes them to 40 lashes, as the usual death penalty would cause too much bad international publicity, and also grants them one last request as foreigners to appease the foreign press.
The first one is Italian and thinks for a minute and asks for a last meal of Spaghetti. After eating it he is lashed, screaming and crying for his mother at every lash until he passes out on lash 6, and after 20 lashes he is dead.
The German is up next and after looking at the dead Italian asks for 10 leather jackets, wears several and asks for the rest to be tied to his back. The first few lashes are ok, but soon it hurts and he starts to moan, 20 lashes strip away the leather and by lash 40 he is also dead after screaming for his fatherland.
Upnext is a Frenchman. He looks at the dead German and has a thought and does the math and asks for 20 leather jackets. He cant wear more than 4, and asks for the rest to be tied to his back. The leather survives the first 30 lashes, despite this he cries like a baby screaming for mercy, then they break off and he suffers terrible pain, screams like death itself between the lashes for his motherland, and is left horribley scarred but just alive. He smiles slightly thinking he at least beat the German and is still alive.
Last up is the Englishman. He stands up in front of the judge, with a stuff upper lip and that English look of imperial superiority he says “first I am a proud Englishman. You gave an Italian, a German and a Frenchman a mere 40 lashes. This is an insult to give an Englishmen the same pathetic punishment! I first demand 100 lashes!” The judge is at first shocked but says "it is true, the English are surely the bravest race of all. In honour of your bravery I grant you this wish. And what is your last request?
The Englishman stands proudly and says with a firm commanding voice, please tie the Frenchman to my back.
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